Is this Heaven or am I still on Earth??

I feel myself floating through every single day and I don't even know what is going on! I am truly walking on clouds all of the time and not seeing any signs of a storm. (knock on wood) My only sadness is that I have not blogged about it!! Oh well that is the only moment I will give to that because my life is sooooo happy! I know you are all vomiting in your mouths right about now but there is nothing else to be said, it is what it is. :)

I have to just start of with the fact that I have THE BEST baby on the planet! I am not sure if Ty was just such an extra demanding baby or maybe I am just used to this parenting thing but seriously Jax has been an angel. I could do nothing else all day except to just sit and play with him! He is always so willing to give me the biggest grins and loves to laugh at anything I, or especially big brother, do. He is just so busy figuring out life and what things are. Especially how to get them in his mouth at any cost! He is scooting everywhere and will get up on his knees and rock but no crawling yet thank goodness. I love to watch as he experiences everything for the first time. :) He and Ty play sooooo well together, they just occupy each other all day long so I have more time to myself than ever before. Ty is the best big brother and helps me so much. He is in such a fun age right now. He talks my ear off all day long and if I happen to be talking to someone else he will grab my chin and make me look at him so I don't miss one single word! I know I said this in my last post but I am saying it all the time, I couldn't be happier!

My little thumb sucker! He just makes me smile. :)

Ok enough making you all sick. ;) This summer has been my best one yet. We spent so much time playing with water in our backyard, drawing with lots of sidewalk chalk, riding bikes around our circle, taking walks to our park, and that was just in our neighborhood! We did so many fun outings as well, two awesome camping trips in our new tent trailer; trips to the zoo, lagoon, and seven peaks; fishing trips with grandpa on his boat and lots of playing with cousins. I would definitely say that we have been running our heads off! I am soooo sad that summer is coming to an end and that we are probably going to be slowing down quite a bit. However Fall is my FAVORITE time of year and so I will not be let down to much. ;)

The icing on this overwhelming cake though, would have to be our most recent adventure. We were so fortunate to have an awesome family vacation to California and to DISNEYLAND!! I will spare you the ravings of how amazing it was but lets just say that it was without a doubt our best family vacation to date. It had something of all my favorite things on earth. A little sand, a little ocean, a little tide pools, a little family, a little Ruby's Diner, a little Holbrook house, and a lot of the happiest place on earth! I have not met many people who truly appreciate Disney as much as myself so when we decided to go with Joe's family I could not have been happier! I was so lucky to marry into a family of Disneyland fanatics.

This is about half of us on Heimlich's chew chew train. We had such a great time being in such a big group with all the cousins and running around trying to get it all in. I could spend six months here and never get enough!

Meeting Lightening McQueen and Mator! Ty doesn't look like it here but he was in heaven! He did not want to talk to any of the characters but every time he saw one he would get all excited. (As long as they did not get close to him) Now when someone asks him who he saw at Disneyland he says Mickey Mouse and Daisy Duck! :)

This is more like the face we got the whole time we were there. :) He loved all the kid rides and even went on Thunder Mountain Railroad! After that we had to clarify which train we were going on, the slow train or the fast train, because he did not want the fast train again! :) He was soooo good the whole time and Jax did amazing! He never cried the whole time we were there.

We spent a couple days at the beach of course because my babies are going to have to love the ocean as much as their momma. That is not an option! We spent one day at Huntington walking on the pier and boogie boarding in the water. It was a perfect day! Then we spent one night at Newport and Joe jumped in the water with my nephew in their clothes in the pitch dark!! :) And then this pic was at a beautiful beach called Little Corona where they had great tide pools. There were thousands of little crabs all over in them and Joe was feeding them to the enenomes. (sp?) I thought Ty would be freaked by the crabs but he was pretty enamored with the whole thing.

This is Ty with his cousins in "Bugs Land" I LOVE how he is holding Faisal's hand! He could not have had a better time being with all the kids. :) I feel terrible because we spent a few days at my sisters house and did not take one picture! Ty also had a blast getting to know her kids and when we pulled into our hotel on the way home he screamed and cried that he wanted to go back to Aunt Shelly's house! We LOVED spending time at their house and are so glad that we got to squeeze some time in with them. We love the Holbrooks!

So needless to say we had a great trip and an incredible summer. I am so grateful for all the wonderful friends and family in my life. We are so blessed! I hope everyone else had just as awesome of a summer and that Fall is going to be great too! Thank you everyone for everything that you add to our life. It would not be the same without you!

Happy is what happens when your dreams come true...

If I had to choose one passion in my life, the thing I enjoy the very most in the world, it would undoubtedly be music. It has been a major part of my life and I have not been able to live without it since I was two. Although I do not like to perform anymore, in the privacy of my own home you will find me belting out tunes at the top of my lungs. Sometimes I feel very sorry for my neighbors, and not to mention my poor family. ;) There is nothing that can lift my spirits or calm me down from a stressed out rage more than being in my bathroom singing. Musicals in particular are a favorite for me because they give you characters and stories to relate to through the music. When I was seven my parents took me to see the Phantom of the Opera in San Francisco. I had the CD for months before and would listen to nothing else. I dug my fingernails into my moms arm the entire performance and when we left I felt like I truely was Christine. In fact I insisted that I was going to change my name and that everyone should call me that from then on. Luckily it didn't stick. ;) But I love how for just that moment you can be whoever you want to be and experience anything.

Lately I feel like my whole life is one big compilation of all the music I have stored away and that I am singing my way through it, like some lucky movie star. I have been a little consumed with a particular album lately so if this post is a little "Wicked" you will have to forgive me. ;) I seriously feel so blessed lately. Having two kids has filled a huge hole I didn't even know was there. I cannot believe how it has completed me. I couldn't be happier... And not like Glinda, I feel like this all came at very little cost to me. I never really wanted kids. I was scared and liked my life the way it was, and so when Ty was born I was very overwhelmed and had some large adjustments to make. This time around I feel like it has been a breeze (aside from recovery and sickness of course)! But really the adjustment has been zero. From the second little Jax was brought into my life two kids just fit. Sure it is a little more hectic but it gives me so much more purpose as a mother. I think I could have about 10 more! ;)

I mean seriously how can you not smile when you see this darling little angel?! And he was only an hour old here. He is such a perfect little baby and has such a sweet temperment.

My two precious babes and their first looks at each other. From the very first second they have had nothing but love, not an ounce of jealousy. How did I get so lucky?

My three boys. :) This is pretty much my favorite picture in the whole wide world! Man I love having boys! It may be dirty and chaotic but it is the sweetest thing ever and I wouldn't trade it for anything!

He loves being a big brother. I could not have gotten a sweeter boy first. He is so tender and just wants to help ALL the time! He gets so concerned when his little brother cries and will not go anywhere without him. They're already best friends.

Our first family photo. This picture seriously just makes me rejoicify! I feel soooo incredibly blessed! This past Mothers Day I was faced with several trials for other people and my heart just ached for them. I came home that night and looked at my life and wondered why things are so good for us right now. I know we each have times of good and times of hardship and that the bad times are what make us appreciate the good. So heres to appreciating my life, for the good and the bad, cause while we are in the good now I could be trying to sing the world away in my bathroom tomorrow. For now I am enjoying singing my way through happily. I am so grateful for my wonderful hubby and for the great Mothers Day he gave me. I would not be a Mom if it weren't for him! So kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity!

Birth story in pictures...

So my sister in law has been taking a TON of pictures of us lately! I am sure she is just sick of it but I TOTALLY appreciate it! She is sooo great! So... She does this thing called a birth story with all sorts of pics at the hospital. She put them in a slide show at the link below. The program made them a little grainy but you can still see what a great job she did. Plus you get a whole ton of me and Joe and Jax! :) Enjoy!

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kizoa.com%2Fslideshow%2Fd1557372k3406267o1%2Fa-birth-story&h=ed7ab

Introducing baby

Jaxton Emery Seely

I am finally recovering from all of the chaos of the last two months and I need to blog about it before I forget that it even happened. Man the time has flown! It is crazy how when you are pregnant you think that it is never going to end and that you will always remember how it feels to carry such precious cargo. Right about now I am sort of wishing that was the case. :) But just as soon as the baby is here it feels like this has always been your life and you never experienced any of it, almost like a dream. I am in a little bit of a dream world all the time right now. I can't remember not having my sweet little addition in our family, and at the same time the adjustment is so different and surreal. I supposed getting 3 hours of sleep every night doesn't help the situation much either. ;) This tiny guy has given me a run for my money! He was five weeks yesterday and has not had one good night yet! I think Ty was probably the same but I didn't have a crazy two year old running me ragged then.

I hate how pregnancy is such an awesome and magical time and yet you are to miserable to even know it! I had a pretty decent pregnancy, much better than with Ty, but even still you just want to be done 100% of the time. You dont realize how fun it is to have everyone constantly asking about the baby and all the obnoxious "advice" is actually kind of enjoyable. The ultra sounds, awful doctors appointments and feeling the baby kick (even if it does wake you every night). Everything is all about you for 10 months! I have to put this all down so that I remember next time that it really is one of the most exciting times of life, miserable or not. :) I feel so grateful that I get to be a woman and experience it!

With Ty I went over my due date and didn't try anything to "self induce" my labor. I just patiently waited until they induced me in the hospital. I was miserable but I am not sure if I was nervous for the labor or what but I didn't feel much like rushing it. If I had known what was coming I probably would have postponed it even longer! ;) It was 26 hours in the hospital and 3 LONG hours of pushing before he finally came. So needless to say I had no idea what to expect this time around, but I had hopes for a much better experience... In the last month of my pregnancy I was soooo antsy I just wanted him here! I tried several ways of "self inducing" my labor but I was nervous to do anything extreme. My due date was February 9th and at my doctors appointment on Jan. 24th she told me I was dialated to 5 centimeters and my cervix was 80% effaced, he was head down and right where he needed to be. I was extatic I just knew I was going to have him that day! Ha! I wish we really could see the future. I had contractions the rest of the day and the whole next day. By the time I woke up on Wed. the 26th I just knew that I had to be more dialated and decided to go in to the hospital to see if they would keep me.

We arrived at the hospital, bags and everything at 9:30 AM. They put us in a small room and when the nurse checked me I was still at a 5! I could not believe it. All those contractions and two days and still NO change?? But something had changed...She couldn't feel the baby's head and decided to get an ultrasound. The ultrasound proved what she had thought. He had turned completely breach! This is not very common because that close to the end they are so large that it is not very easy for them to move around, especially all the way around. So they decided not to send me home because if I did progress past a 5 he could come very quickly and I might not make it to a hospital. Well since I did not want to deliver a breach baby by myself at home we agreed to be induced that day. They got us all checked in and hooked up to all the moniters, and then they tried to turn him. I had heard alot of scary things about this and so I was pretty nervous. My doctor got on one side of my belly and the nurse on the other and they both grabbed one side of baby and just pushed him around. It is amazing how hard they can push on your belly and not have it hurt the baby. Next time around I will not be so worried about kids jumping on me. It was VERY painful for me though and I was so glad when it was over and they were successful!

They took an ultrasound to make sure he was where they wanted him and another problem... He was head down but there was something between his head and the outside world. His cord! If the cord gets delivered before the baby he will die because he will loose the only source of oxygen he has. Lucky for us my water had not broken yet so we decided to wait and see if he could move around it. They put some restraints on both sides of my belly to make it harder for him to flip back the way he was and started the pitocin. After waiting awhile they were able to get the cord out of the way and so I got my epidural and it appeared that we were on our way for a normal delivery. As the contractions increased he started to loose oxygen and was having heart decels. They said that the cord was being pinched with the contractions so they stopped the pitocin and watched us very closely. I finally got dialated to a 7 and they decided to break my water. I didn't realize at the time how nervous they were about it. They all came into the room in their operating gear and started a very slow leak to see how he handled it. Things seemed to be going fine and then all of a sudden my doctor was up yelling we need to get to the OR now and they were wheeling me out of the room and throwing clothes at Joe. We were literally running down the hallways running into walls and knocking stuff of my bed. I was terrified! His heart had stopped.

They pumped me full of meds and got me strapped to the operating table and she said his heart had started. So we decided to wait and see what happened. I was really scared of a c-section and I didn't want to be bound to that for the rest of my kids. So we all sat in the OR waiting... Finally after a little over an hour there was no change. Still at a 7... He was sitting really high up from all the turning fiasco and did not appear to be dropping anytime soon. So now came decision time. I seriously have the best doctor on the planet. I trust her as much as I trust myself. So she says to me "how are you feeling? Do you think you can hold up for awhile because this is probably going to be a long process, just like with Ty, and with all the problems we dont know how it will turn out." I just wasn't sure, I felt completely stressed and exhausted, plus they had numbed me for a ceserean and so I was really nervous about trying to push when I could not feel anything from my chest down. She reasured me that she would sit with me as long as it took for whatever I decided to do. So after a few minutes of thinking it over I decided to let them just take him now instead of waiting and doing the same thing at two in the morning. Had I known what I was getting into I might have opted to wait. ;)


They set everything up and got him out at 5:59 PM and at 7lbs 6oz. I hated the whole thing and have delt with a lot of things from it that have surprised me. I dont know anyone who has had babies both ways except my mother and her's were 26+ years ago. Everyone else I know has had one or the other and told me that c-sections were no big deal so I wasn't to worried. Well I am not sure if I am just a baby or if everyones bodies just handle these things differently but let me tell you I will not opt for this one again unless there is no other choice! I know that VBAC's are not all that successful but I am sure hoping I will be one of the lucky ones. So enough complaining, we have a beautiful baby boy who is healthy and that is ALL that matters! :)

So if any of you have made it this far I totally applaud you! :) This was mostly for me to record my experience so that I can relive it because it only comes a few times in a lifetime. I have lots and lots of pictures from maternity to labor to newborn. However they were mostly taken by other people so as soon as I get some I will put them on. I still think pics are the best part of blogging so I am sorry! The ones on here my sweet sister inlaw took for me but they have her logo on them because she has just posted them on the intenet. She runs an AWESOME business and if any of you ever need pictures done you should contact her because she is great! Here is her website... http://www.clarissastaggphotography.com/ I hope she doesn't mind that I am posting my teaser pics on here before I have my CD I just cant wait! :) And as soon as I get more pics I will post I promise!

"Summ" catch up!

So I know this post is from forever ago but I FINALLY got my pictures on here. :) They go clear back to February so I debated even doing some from back then but for now we will start here. Luckily I didn't take alot of pictures this summer so I will just post about the ones I do have pics of since I already told about everything we did a few months ago. :) I had to put Ty's birthday on here even though it was clear back in June. We just had a little party with our families. It was nothing fancy just presents, cake and ice cream but Ty loved it! It was so fun to watch him get the concept of opening presents. Now that Christmas is almost here and there are presents everywhere he wants to open them all. I keep telling him that Santa will bring him some on Christmas and I think he is starting to get the idea. :) I am very excited for Christmas morning.

So here is his cake... He did not understand all the singing and blowing out the candle but he loved the Dinosaur on it. However in August his cousin turned three and after her party he walked around singing happy birthday for several weeks and pretending to blow out anything that remotely resembled a candle. It was very cute. :)

This was the first gift he opened so I had to help at first but once he realized there were toys inside he jumped right in and ripped all the wrapping paper off.

I was afraid that once he got one toy he would just want to play with it and forget about all the others he had to open. No way! He was more into the opening than the toys themselves. :) Once they were all opened he looked around and said "mess" and started cleaning up all the paper before he started to play. He is very into having things organized (something he got from me poor guy) But he still makes his share of chaos and messes. Especially lately!

We went back and forth between this car and a bike but finally settled on this thinking that he was to little for a bike. Yeah right! He likes this car but it totally obsessed with bikes so we now know what is coming for him this June!

I found this little weed whacker and thought he would love to cut the grass like Dad. It makes really cute sounds. Instead he thinks it is a vacuum and walks around the house "cleaning" I guess he does spend quite a bit more time with Mom so he would want to clean. He loved the glasses though and would just wear them everywhere.
I already told about our trip to Cali in August but I had to put some pics on. We stayed with my sister for part of it but we also went beach camping which was a first for us. It was so awesome! This is our camp and yes that is the ocean in the background. :) There is a private beach just below those cliffs that we spent every day on. It was so nice to have all your stuff and food right there so you just go back to camp for lunch and then have your campfire at night. Much better than camping in the freezing mountains! Plus the sound of the waves all night wasn't to bad either. :)

Ty went crazy on the beach. He really never wanted to leave. He loved running away from the waves and chasing seagulls. He explored everything. We even caught a lobster and a huge crab in the water. Makes you think twice about what else you are swimming with. ;)

This is one of our favorite beaches in Newport. These rocks are fun to walk out on and find things in and they make the waves come in just perfect. Ty approved as well.
It was pretty breezy this day so I was laying by the warm sand. Ty stopped playing and brought his towel over to lay next to me. He thought he was pretty cool doing what I was doing.

Then he ended up laying on me. :) It was such a fun day!

Our fam on the jetty.

So Joe turned the big 30 this year! I know I am married to an old man... ;) haha I threw him a surprise party and then we went and played laser tag. I dont believe it but I have no pictures of the party! :( I am horrible at taking pictures... Anyways for his gift I gave him Brad Paisley tickets. We have never done the grass seats so I thought it would be fun to try. We loved it! They were much cheaper and you have all the space in the world to lay down.

My brother and his wife had never been to a country concert so we talked them into trying it. I am still not sure what they thought of it but we were so glad they were there with us. It was a great concert. We love Mr. Paisley! :)

So that was a little late but nice to have some sun from summer in this FREEZING weather we are having! I love the snow until after Christmas so we are trying to enjoy it for now. I hope everyone is doing great getting ready for the holidays. We got our tree up extra early this year because I am doubling in size everyday... I am just hoping I last all the way to February! We are going crazy doing the Christmas thing and trying to move things around for this little one on the way. I hope we can get it all done before I am glued to the couch. Anyone want to take a crazy two year old for the next few months???? I would sure get alot more done!

The best time of year!

I know I say this all the time but isn't Fall the best? The weather is perfect to be outside and the holidays are coming up ahead, PLUS I do not get hayfever like in Spring and Summer!!! :) I love the smells and the feelings, there is just something magical about it. I am totally a sucker for "magical" maybe thats why Disneyland is my favorite place on earth! :)So I wanted to post some pics of our fall but they are not on our computer yet and I am kind of an idiot and have to wait for my hubby to download them... Its funny how being married can really handicap you in certain areas. Or maybe its just that I am lazy! Hahaha.... Either way I did get some pics off of our phones. I already uploaded them to facebook (thats the easiest way to get them on my computer) so you may have seen them all already, BUT I will do more explainin and stories with them here of course. And as soon as I get the real pics on here I will post them.


This was Ty's Halloween costume, obviously. He picked it out because first of all he loves monkey's but he really loved the banana in the pocket. He kept trying to take it out and eat it. He would look at me and say "bite" and then try to pull it out. Luckily it was sewn in so he couldn't.



Here is a front shot but kind of blurry. That little pumkin bag Joe's mom bought at Disneyland so all here grandkids could have "trick-or-treat" bags. :) Isn't it awesome? Ty loved it and would hold it open so cute at every door we went to. He was really afraid of his cousin Faisal's spiderman mask so he wouldn't let us put him down if he was anywhere near, but as long as we were far away he loved getting all the candy. Afterwards we came home and he had the idea down. Everytime the doorbell would ring he would grab our big bucket of candy and haul it to the door and hand each kid a piece. He thought that was pretty awesome.

This was one of the good rainstorms we got. Joe and I were loading up the car to leave and Ty was standing in the garage just watching the rain and laughing, so Joe took him out and ran around with him. He went crazy. I wish we had a pic of him laughing in it but this was all we got. :)

This was at Cornbelly's at Thanksgiving point. This was the first year we have gone to it but it will definitely be a tradition from now on. It was soooo fun. They have tons of activities for little ones and everything is done up so cute.


This is why I love living where we do. There are horses everywhere! Everytime we drive anywhere Ty has to point them out and so one day we thought we would stop and let him pet one. He wasn't even nervous. I love both my boys faces in this pic! Its probably one of my favorite pictures ever. I cant look at it without smiling. :)

We went down to St. George for Joe's cousin's wedding a few weeks ago and it was pretty stinkin warm. Whenever it gets hot Ty loves to wear my sunglasses. I guess we should probably get him his own pair.

And just for me to remember... This was our invite to our Halloween party. I dont do things like this very often so when I do I have to record it somewhere! :)

Support

I had a really interesting experience this weekend that made me think about the way that I am and the way I come across to other people. We all (well most of us) want to be good people. The kind of people that are nice and do things to help others out, people who would never want to make anyone feel as badly as we have felt. Are we really accomplishing this??? I think that most of the time I am in my own little bubble and I truly think that I am being a kind person. I really do try to please people, I usually keep my mean feelings and opinions to myself (or my poor husband) ;) and if you ask me to do something, I like to think I would try to help you out. So here I live in my own little happy place.... then all of a sudden I am knocked over by the amazing things I witness all the time!

I am going to get a little side tracked for a minute to tell you about our weekend... We had an AWESOME weekend! I hope the rest of you enjoyed your holiday as much as we did. :) We started off the weekend Friday night with a costume party. Halloween is my favorite holiday and I thought what better way to celebrate than to throw a totally spooky party??? It turned out sooooo good! Pics will be coming when I get them on my computer. :) I hardly ever do anything without Ty and when I do I always leave him with Joe, so it was great to have a real couples night to just play and be with good friends. After everyone left I felt so grateful for the people in my life and especially to those that helped make it such a great night.

So now back to my question of what kind of person am I? I know so many people that would do anything for somebody else. They would literally give you the shirt off their back if you needed it. It doesn't matter if they would be freezing because they truly are more concerned about others than themselves. Can I put myself in their category??? I always want to help people when it puts as little inconvenience on me as possible. Luckily for me I have an awesome husband who naturally wants to do things to help out all the time. He is one of the best people I know (as long as I am not rubbing off on him) :) I want to spend more of my time in the company of people like this so that maybe I can get out of my bubble and realize that there is ALWAYS something you can do to help someone else, no matter what situation you are in yourself. It is always easier to think of excuses and justify them in your own mind, but I think when we push through the excuses and look at someone else's needs our own needs and even our wants get met as well. I am going to really try to be one of these people because the selfless people I know are my very favorite to be around!! :)

Its funny how a little support from a few people, at a dumb event can make you think! But really what side do I want to be on, the side that helps and supports people and has a great time doing it, :) or the side that just lets excuses get in the way and may not have the support when they need it? I am choosing to be on the support side! Here I put these questions and resolutions out into the blogging world again. Oh how I love to do that! Thanks again to everyone who came and participated in the festivities it was the perfect way to start a great weekend. And it made a perfect scenario for me to hopefully learn a few things and change the way I am a little bit! I hope everyone had a Happy Halloween!! :)

Words of the prophets

After my last post I thought I had better do an update... I was having such a bad day and it felt so good to just vent it all out, but... That was all. Life is sooooo good for us right now and after the wonderful General Conference the past two days I thought I better not leave the focus of my blog on the negative. :)

Saturday morning Joe was gone duck hunting and Ty was being crazy as usual. I was trying to get the house in order as I turned conference on so I was not paying much attention. It seems like even though I never expect it, conference always brings the best feeling into the house. Pretty soon I could not help myself I was sitting and taking notes. There were so many good talks and messages! I felt so grateful that we have such great church leaders to guide us. Life is just to tough to handle alone and it was great to have the reminders they gave. I watch a lot of different TV shows and reality stuff, and it is amazing the crazy things people do! There are so many different shows that can really make you depressed about the world we live in. They really scare me to death for my kids, but I cant quit watching them! :) My favorites are the ones that go into the minds of serial killers or other psycho criminals. Its like you cant tear yourself away from the TV no matter how bad it scares you!

Between that and where our government is taking our poor country it is really easy to get down and loose hope for anything happy in the future... But as I watched our sweet prophet and apostles speak the last two days it gave me 100% the opposite feelings. It was such a relief to watch something that gives you hope for the future and a purpose in life! Pres. Monson spoke about having an "attitude of gratitude" and all the good things that are still happening. It is really good for me to be reminded that there is positive to focus on. I tend to get way to stressed out over little things and then I get in a fog and cant see clearly. I love how the spirit takes that cloud away and just leaves you feeling better.

I wish that I could feel this clear all the time! :) Every time I watch conference I feel this enormous desire to share my feelings about God and this awesome church that I am so blessed to belong to. I think that as Latter Day Saints, living in Utah especially, we tend to be afraid of offending someone when it comes to religion. At least that's how it is with me. I like to keep one hand on the iron rod and the other in the world... But while I am keeping quiet there are plenty of others who are not afraid to stand up for there beliefs. One way or the other. I think that everyone is entitled to live and think the way they want to, but when I have found something that pulls me out of my dark place and gives me so much purpose and happiness, isn't it selfish to keep it to myself??? I am certainly not going to start shoving my opinions in anyone's face but I am just making a resolve to be a better example, if for no one else, my kids. One of my biggest worries is how they are ever going to make it with all the awful things that are out there, and my second little boy isn't even here yet! The best thing I can do as a parent is to work constantly to show them what brings true happiness.

Now to get off my pedestal... :) I know that everyone is here to learn the things they need to and I am just here learning along with everyone else. I just like to record my thoughts so that I can go back and remember the good things I have felt and where I want to be. It is so easy to get caught up in the rush of life and forget what happens along the way. That is why I love to have a blog, even if I don't post very often. It is nice to have an outlet that you can go back and read again and again. :) I hope that everyone had a great weekend and is looking forward to a great fall! I am loving the cooler weather today. This is my favorite time of year before the snow comes and we are going to be enjoying every moment of it! Hopefully I will keep you posted on the fun activities. (assuming we do the things we have planned) We will see...

Seriously????

***Disclaimer... This is a very venting post and you should not read if you need something uplifting!

So I have gone back and forth about writing this or not for the last hour... I got on my computer to just have a HUGE explosion of feelings and emotions! Luckily I did get on facebook first and someones status said "Dear Lord, please keep your arm over my shoulder and your hand over my mouth... Amen." :) I had to laugh and then realize that I would have regretted all the emotional vomit I would have put on everyone. BUT... I just cant walk away without getting something out!

I know that blogs are in general a happy bubbly place where only good feelings and thoughts are shared. But who made that rule anyway??? I cant keep a journal worth crap and I just can't overload my poor mother with any more of my "venting". Sooooo here comes a very dulled down version of my constant frustration. No one even needs to read this but some how it makes me feel better to put it all out there for the cosmic world to take away...

Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you feel like you are quite literally running around in a circle and every time you get to where you started you run full force into a brick wall??? You knew it was there, you knew that you would inevitably run into it, but here you lay, knocked back from the force, no air in your lungs and tears in your eyes (or streaming down your face) only to get up and repeat the same circle over again! Its like you are one of those lab rats running around in a maze, completely lost, and when you think you have found a new route to try you find yourself running into the very same wall you started at! All you can do is look around all shaken up and say "SERIOUSLY???????"

I cant even recall where this situation came from and yet I am completely stuck in it! I feel like I have run this circle so many times that I know every inch of its walls, I know every speck in the flooring, I know the smells and the feelings and yet, for all my searching, I cannot find any sign of a way out. I am exhausted. I am to many feelings to even put in this post. So I say to the people in the white lab coats looking down on me... HELP!!!! I am ready to stop this run. So if someone in really good shape would like to come run for me for awhile... I will be in Hawaii on a beach! ;) I put this somewhere out into the blogging world and it feels better for now. Who knows this may just become a routine and you will all have to delete me from your lists! Here is hoping for a much more positive post the next time around...

Summer!

Alright here it all comes.... I hope that everyone has had a great summer this year. As it comes to an end I am filled with very mixed emotions! First of all I absolutely LOVE summer time, its great to get out of your house and take awesome vacations, get a nice sun tan... BUT... this one totally one hundred percent kicked my trash!!! :) I am sooooo looking forward to fall and having very little on my calendar!
Our summer started out a little crazy... First off I swear spring allergy season lasted until the beginning of this month and was extra bad! I broke the first bone of my life, it was just my middle toe but took two months to heal because it was completely fractured in two different places! And to top it all off we got some fantastic news that we are adding another member to our family! :) I have awful first trimester's so that brought with it lots of throwing up and many other aches and pains! Needless to say that entering into this new season I was a little less than excited for all the big things we had planed.
As we got home from Ireland in the spring we hit the ground running. About six days later Joe put me and Ty on an airplane and we headed off for my favorite place on earth, DISNEYLAND!!! Our computer has been really retarded the last year so all of these following pictures are taken off of facebook and are not the best quality. But until we can get rich and buy a new one this is what you get. :)
I met my parents who were there staying in a beach house in Newport for a month, (very jealous) and my sister and her family who live in Huntington, (extra jealous) and we all had a very fun day in Disneyland. It was Ty's third time there (once in the womb and once when he was five months) but this was the first time he could really enjoy it. It was so fun to take him on all the rides and watch the parades. He did sooooo great the whole day and his favorite thing was definitely bugs land. (pictured above) He wore those glasses the whole show. I couldn't believe it. Cant wait to go back again... :)
We were only in California for two days before we flew back but we had to get some beach time while we were there. So the second day we just spent playing in the water and sand. It was pretty chilly but Ty loved to put his feet in and run from the waves. This was his first experience playing in the sand and I think we are going to have a beach buddy on our hands. He loved it!

We finished our basement in February and hadn't really used it much, so we decided to throw a Cinco de Mayo party. We made everyone wear these hats and do a mexican hat dance. (I have joes on video and it was pretty hilarious) :) It was so nice to have the extra space. I am very grateful that we were able to get it done.
To kick off the warm weather finally, (it seems like summer didn't come till forever this year) we got out this little blow up pool for the first time and Ty went crazy! He loves water and didn't even mind that it was FREEZING cold from the hose. He just hopped right in. The only problem was he wanted me to get in with him. I think he needs a sibling. ;) Good thing there is one on the way! We have used this waaaay to many times this summer, we will be sad to deflate it and put it away soon...
We also bought a season pass to Thanksgiving point. We went to the Dinosaur museum they have there with my niece and her little boy and Ty loved it so what could I do??? It is just right around the corner from us and its a good way to get out of the house during the day. Plus we can use it when it gets cold.

A tradition we have started doing is going to the Lehi rodeo every year. They put on a really good show and Ty loved to watch the horses and play with his cousin Cambria. (I am not sure which he enjoyed more...)

By far his favorite thing there was the halftime motocross show they put on. He was shouting, laughing and pointing at the motorcycles. It had his attention the whole time, he literally would not take his eyes off them. :)

We had two family reunions the same week this year which was, to say the least, CRAZY!! I was in charge of the one for my side of the family so we had to be there the whole time but we squeezed in a few days with Joe's at Bear Lake and it actually worked out really good. It was a lot of work and alot of camping but when it was all over we took lots of good memories home with us. :) The above pic is with my fam in Flaming gorge. Ty just loved being with all the cousins and crazy family.

The second day of mine we ran the Green River with my whole family and it was crazy. We made our boat the "baby boat" and so we were full with most of the tiny ones. It was a ton of fun and Ty had a blast looking for "sharks" in the water with his cousins. But if I had it to do over again I would not take so many babies... It made it pretty stressful for a panic head like me. :)

I am not sure why this one turned out so small but here it is... Our final adventure of the summer was another trip to California we took a week and a half ago. I just cannot get enough of this place!! If Joe's job wasn't here there would be no question in our minds about moving there. Joe was dying to get there sometime this year and I am always up for it so we took off with my brother and his family and headed down. My sister was doing some beach camping that they do every year and so we decided to crash it. :) It was AWESOME! The campsites are on the edge of this cliff looking down on the beach so you hear the ocean all the time and the view is amazing! It's perfect because you walk down to the beach, spend all morning there, come back to camp for lunch and then head back down. Plus there is a fun little town across the road that you walk to and get these really tasty donuts... Mmmmmm... Its a good thing I am pregnant and dont have to watch what I am eating. :)

We didn't do Disneyland this time because I hate it in the summer with all the crowds. :( Plus money is becoming a little tight after all the playing we did. :) We had such a great trip though we went to all our favorite spots, including Ruby's in Huntington which is pictured above. Its the funnest little restaurant and they have great shakes! Well I hope everyone had an awesome summer also and that they are all getting settled back into school. :( Fall is my favorite season of all so I am excited for lots of new fun adventures...

What a Whirlwind!!

Back in February we had the awesome opportunity to go to Ireland with my neice and her husband. It was the most beautiful place I have ever seen!! Every time I would think "Wow nothing could top this sight" we would turn the corner and I was proved totally wrong. We were only there six days because it takes two to travel so we were running the ENTIRE time! I seriously needed a vacation when we got home. :) But we saw sooooo many things I wouldn't change one bit of it. We had such a good time I would highly recomend it to anyone interested, although you should plan what you want to see first because you could literally spend two months there and not see it all. There are 25 pictures here, yes 25! And I had a really hard time cutting them down to this, (we took about 1000 pictures) I had to leave soooo much out but here are just a few highlights of the incredible island Ireland. My favorite is at the bottom so I know its alot but you should make it through. :)

We rented a car and drove almost all the way around the island, and this was the view everywhere we went! I love it! It was winter there so it was FREEZING but everything is still so GREEN. Ireland is just farmland with little towns spread throughout. We loved driving along the tiny country roads even if it was on the wrong side. :)

This is St. Patricks Cathedral. It was the most beautiful building I have ever seen. The stonework and architechture are amazing. Especially for how old it is.

This is inside the cathedral. I am certainly not catholic but I dont think anyone could stand inside this building and not be touched. I wanted to just stay in here all day. I loved the feeling of it.

Alright like I said before everything always got topped... :) This really was the most breathtaking thing I have ever seen! This is Kylemore Abbey. It is the only working abbey in Ireland and the Nuns and Friers get to live and worship here every day. Can you imagine???? The inside architecture is just as amazing.

This is a further back view so you can see the lake that it is set on. We had to drive up the mountains a little to get here so there was a slight little Utah feel to it. If Utah wasn't a desert! :)

This is the Blarney Castle. We got there first thing in the morning so the fog hadn't quite burned off yet. I love how it looks in this picture, I had never seen fog like this anywhere. By the time we left though there were blue skies and sunshine.

And yes we did kiss the blarney stone, so I now have the gift of the gab and you can't believe a word I say! :) If you look at the top of this tower in the middle, right above the window there is a hole. This is where the blarney stone is located. According to legend you have to kiss it while hanging upside down over that ledge or else you will not be bestowed with the "gift of the gab" so that is just what we did! It was very terrifying, I almost talked myself out of it but I am very glad I didn't.

This is just a random Abbey. They have these ruins all over the place and they are sooo cool! Most of them have the people who built them or preists who ran them buried there now. But everywhere you go they are just alongside the road.

This is Bunratty Castle. We had an authentic Irish dinner and show put on inside of here one night. They served us so much food and it was soooo yummy! It was fun to act like royalty for one night. :)

This is inside the castle waiting to sit down. The shows they put on were neat They had like five girls all singing Irish songs with harmony is was really good.

This is just one of the streets somewhere. In all the little towns this is what they look like. Very European. I loved it. :)

This was the Hotel we stayed in. The Ritz Carlton Powerscourt. It was incredible as well.

Just in case the roads aren't tiny enough or having big buses knock off your side view mirrors while they pass you dont discourage you this is how their signs are! They dont use street names at all so you just head towards a town and hope you find it. It makes getting directions extremely difficult. We got lost about 30 times. :) But at least we made it home.

Just when you thought you had no more space on the roads they cram it full of sheep! :) There are sheep everywhere in Ireland.

Eating in a pub. This is how we ate most our meals because that is all they have there. And they only serve food during certain times of the day so sometimes it was very hard to get fed. :)

This is inside one of the Abbey ruins we stopped at. It's Corcomroe Abbey in the "fertile valley" so of course we had to be kissing in it. ;)

For those of you who watch a lot of television this is in a Gordon Ramsay restaraunt. He is the guy who does "Hells kitchen" The food was delectible but the price was really high. He only has five of these in the world so we had to do at least one meal here.

They do not have bathrooms at any public stops like stores or gas stations so they have these on the side of the road. We never dared use one so we had to just hold it ALOT!!! :)

This is a little church that I loved. Along with Abbey's, the sides of the road are loaded with churches! We stopped at alot of them because they were just so beautiful and they usually had a few people worshiping or praying inside.

I thought I had this turned right but oh well.... :( This is called Bru na Boinne. There are a whole bunch of old tombs that they have found and dug up and are older than the pyramids!! I need to look at my stuff but I believe this one dated back to 1420 B.C. It was pretty cool to go inside something that old.

This was the first castle we saw and my favorite. It is not as upkept as some of the others but more authentic. It is called Dunluce Castle. The way it is positioned on the cliffs edge is sooo awesome. Back when people lived there the queen of it hated being that close to the ocean and was afraid of falling into it. One night while they were asleep the whole kitchen area fell into the ocean as the cliff beneath it collapsed away taking several servants with it. After that they built her a new house further on land and she never set foot in there again although the king had a new kitchen built and still lived there. I cant blame her it was a HUGE fall!!! :)

This is in Northern Ireland and we just crossed one of the only rope bridges still around. It was pretty scary actually but worth it for the awesome view we had after.

This view was amazing. It literally took my breath away! I wish pictures could do it justice. The land in the distance is Scotland. I was glad it was clear so we could see it.

This was probably my favorite thing we did although I really couldn't pick. This is the Giants Causway. There is a really cool legend about a giant that built it over to Scotland but its kind of long so I am not going to tell it since this is about as long as it can be already! :) In reality nobody knows how this came to be but scientists say it was made from volcanic rock. It is a huge area that looks like the remains of maybe a bridge or something made out of perfect hexagonal rocks. It is soooo incredible of course its hard to tell in a picture but this one also took my breath away! :)

Here is a closer view of the rocks. Its mostly ocean but you can see how perfectly smooth and shaped the rocks are at the bottom.